


preach to the birds

by Hannahmayski



Series: Supernatural S1 codas [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s01e06 Skin, Gen, Post-Stanford Era (Supernatural), Sam Winchester's Friends at Stanford, Season/Series 01, a shapeshifting serial killer is just, also like, also like... knowing instinctively that you'll never be that happy again, but you need to believe that there is a light at the end otherwise you KNOW it will kill you, i actually love this episode, love the body horror of it all, sam you deserve so much better oh my god, so many questions and no answers, supernatural had a good thing going in season 1, the ambiguous feeling you get when you know the future does not look bright, ugh the POTENTIAL!!, what did becky tell the cops, what did she tell zach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:47:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27278971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hannahmayski/pseuds/Hannahmayski
Summary: What Sam had: He'll never have that again.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Rebecca Warren & Sam Winchester
Series: Supernatural S1 codas [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1977949
Comments: 3
Kudos: 32





	preach to the birds

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at uni so I'd give his about 3/10 quality <3

Dean thinks that he  has to abandon it all. All the connections that he made, all the important memories with those people mean nothing. Sam’s a soldier  and his friends are civilians and as long as Sam’s around them, he’ s putting them in the line of fire - and maybe he’s right about that. 

Jessica died because of her connection to him. 

Still, Becky wraps her arms around him, holds on to him tightly, carefully avoiding the bruising on his neck and  _ holds _ him just for a moment . He tries not to sink into it, not to get lost in the simple gesture because Dean is waiting by the car , a map spread out on the roof, Sam’ s got a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans, a monster to kill  and a father to find. 

It’s jarring, as they pull away, how much he misses her. How much he misses Zach,  Louis, Brady -  _ Brady _ . 

He misses their Friday night movie nights, the oppressive amounts of popcorn and how Louis would always put too much butter on  them, and Zach would bitch about it every single time. 

He misses the all-nighters with Brady as they critique  his dad’s movie collection like they  actually have a clue about the niche old school action movies beyond what Mr. Brady forced them to sit through for the sake of _ it's _ _ a classic, boys, you need to see it _ . He misses Brady, what they had, what they lost, that Sam couldn’t help him, that he fell through the cracks. 

He misses the random weekend outs with Becky and Zach, just the three of them , when they’d camp out at  their parents place when they were out, sleeping bags and pillows and blankets an d way too much pizza for all of them to ever actually eat . 

He can't just forget that. He can’t just move on. That part of Sam’s life is just as much _Sam_ as this Sam. Maybe he is a hunter, and maybe that’s a part of himself he can’t ever truly run from, but so is Stanford. He’s a hunter, and he’s a student. He’s a Winchester, but he’s also _Sam,_ and he won’t abandon his friends. 

It won’t be the same, not after all of this , after he plugs the monster that murdered Jessica . He won’t be able to just show back up to Stanford where he had a whole life ahead of him and  build it from scratch , pretend that he’ s okay. 

But Becky knows what Sam does now, and maybe, if something ha ppened, at  least they know who to call. 

Becky looks up at him, that bone-deep exhaustion nestled tightly within her now. She knows what’s out there now . 

“Just let me know that you’re okay. Just a text or something every now and then,” she says. 

“I will,” Sam says, it tastes bitter on his tongue. 

He doesn't say anything to Dean once he’s in the car , just falls into the seat like the strings holding him up have been cut . The rumble of the engine underneath him  rattles him like a punch in the face. 

This is a chapter closed . He  doesn't think it’s for the better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Not really happy with this but oh well it be like that sometimes !

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[PODFIC] preach to the birds](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27687856) by [NamesNamesandMoreNames](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamesNamesandMoreNames/pseuds/NamesNamesandMoreNames)




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